Relational Enhancement

A Word from . . .

Dr. Raymond E. Meadors

While Life Focus acknowledges and respects variances in relational lifestyles, this particular site focuses primarily on heterosexual relationships—yet, encouraging couples in any relational partnership to appreciate the universal applicability of the subject matter and to adapt these principles for meaningful inclusion with significant other.   

Dr. Meadors found from years of counseling that partners want practical solutions to deal with potential trouble spots in marriage. At times problem areas are minimal but, over time, little foxes spoil the vine (Song of Solomon 2:15). Couples want to know how to implement what they ought to be doing to improve the quality of relationship.  The following story characterizes many marriages . . . .

In the world of the black widow spider, the male is considered the wimp of the species since his mate is four times larger than he is. Furthermore, only the female is glossy black; the male is white and gold. When the male comes to court his big black beauty, he does so very carefully. Though blind, the female is a sensitive, deadly huntress who knows every square inch of her web by touch. The male plucks at the web deliberately like a troubadour plucking a love song on a guitar. This constant rhythm calms the female and she awaits her lover’s approach. Every few steps he plucks again so she won’t respond as though he is just another insect caught in her web. Finally he reaches her, strokes her with his delicate front legs and the mating process begins. After mating, the male spider is exhausted and, in his weakened condition, often stumbles about the web as he tries to leave. These irregular vibrations trigger the female’s hunting instinct. She not only slays her mate–thus earning her popular title–but devours him as well. Unfortunately, the black widow’s pattern of behavior has a similar counterpart in human relationships. There are many ways by which men and women dominate or abuse their mates, effecting a slow, sure death of the marriage. Marital Satisfaction is among the first element to wither in the “assassination” of a spouse.

Hopefully, this site counters the effect of this story. Many resource materials on the market deal with different aspects of relationships. Herein, situations are described and practical guidelines are presented as solutions. Partners relate well to problems that are a close approximation of real-life dilemmas and situations that resemble conditions to those in their own relationships. These are situations encountered in Life Focus’ counseling outreach, but names are changed to protect the guilty.

Inspirational quotes are dispersed, where appropriate, throughout the text—these are faith-builders and give hope and encouragement to the reader.  My sincere hope is that this site may be a blessing to those who are in a relational partnership at conception or tenured at 10 to 25 to 50 years. Namaste—be inspired to pursue the deepest level of reward the Eternal has destined for your partner and you.

Yours for Strong Relationships,

Raymond E. Meadors, Ph.D.

Licensed Psychologist